Archive for group dynamics

The Problem with Group Gatherings

Group gatherings. Some groups forego them altogether. A group member in Albuquerque, New Mexico, recently approached me at the end of a workshop I led at the state’s annual evangelism conference. She lamented the fact that her teacher does not believe in group gatherings and their class has dwindled because of it. In his opinion, the teaching time should be enough.

Groups do need to be together. We are seeing this during the COVID-19 crisis. Churches and groups have scrambled to find ways to keep people connected online. The church has realized the power of fellowship and gathering as the church, even if it is digitally.

But the author of It Begins with Prayer challenges us to consider the problem with group gatherings in chapter 2. Exactly how could gathering together be a “problem”? Groups organize fellowships, like picnics. People bring food. Games are played. Friendly competition takes place. People enjoy their time together. But the author asks a haunting question: “…But have we done anything that really builds community?”

We might be tempted to say, “Well of course we built community!” But a shared experience doesn’t necessarily build community. Think of it this way. If you attend a sporting event in a stadium of some sort and watch a game with 20,000 others people, did you build community? What about the last airplane flight you took? You flew with 180 people, but did you really build community? Of course you had a shared experience, but did you leave the event knowing people more deeply? Did you really build community?

Do we settle for shared experiences as groups when we really need real community? That’s the question we must answer. Shared experiences are good and needed, for sure. But perhaps what is needed more is a way for people to experience a deeper level of community. In the next blog post, we’ll answer the question, “What is real community?”

Fostering a ‘Praying for the Lost’ Culture in Your Group

How can I make praying for the lost a cultural value for the group I lead? My friend, Jack Bell, has given me a sure-fire way to get people to turn a behavior into a habit. Jack says, “Tell them why, show them how, get them started, and keep them going.” These four steps can get your group praying for the lost so regularly that it becomes a cultural value for your group.

‘Tell them why’ means reviewing for your group the scriptures’ admonition to pray for lost people. ‘Show them how’ means demonstrating to your group how to pray for the lost with a specific list of people. ‘Get them started’ entails having your group members create their own lists of lost people to pray for. ‘Keep them going’ requires raising the issue of praying for the lost and the answers to those prayers in every meeting the group experiences.

Dwayne McCrary suggests keeping a list of specific lost people you are praying for as a leader. He then encourages you to get people in your group to keep and pray for a list. Finally, he envisions your group praying regularly for lost people as a part of each group meeting you conduct.

If you are not yet praying for specific lost people daily, this practice needs to become a habit in your life that your group members will follow. A good place to get started is a website named blesseveryhome.com. Once you create a free account, this site will prompt you to pray with a daily email listing five neighbors from your neighborhood. The site gives you a place to indicate when you have prayed for them, when you have shared Christ with them and whether they have indicated that they are a Christ follower.

Blesseveryhome.com could also be the beginning of the prayer lists your group members will create. Ask members of your group to pray for the lost specifically by name. Group members can visualize the impact of their prayers and gospel sharing in their own neighborhood. Sharing about prayers and answers to prayers becomes an agenda item every time the group meets. Once this happens for several weeks, this practice is on its way to becoming a cultural value of the group.

Clint Calvert is Church Leadership Catalyst for the Minnesota-Wisconsin Baptist Convention.

Space for Our Groups to Operate

TinyClassroomDo you love or hate the space in which your group meets? The best space is nearly invisible. It fits. There are no distractions like noise, glare, smell, etc. The temperature is just right. The encounter with God in His Word is fresh, fun, and life-changing with never a thought about the room.

But space is also a function of group size. A small group in a large space can feel depressed. A large group in a small space can feel excited while at the same time feeling crowded, dangerous, and uncomfortable.

Going a bit farther, space and group size impacts social dynamics within the teaching and learning environment. Let me share about the three most relevant group sizes from Joseph Myers’ The Search to Belong: Rethinking Intimacy, Community, and Small Groups. Think about them this way:

  • INTIMATE. You tend to know a lot about these people. How you teach one or two persons is a lot different. You share more honestly. This might include subgroups during group time or even prayer partners. Teaching and learning is more conversational.
  • PERSONAL. These groups might include a dozen. You tend to know names and stories. As group size increases past six, watch the teaching-learning expectation shift toward the teacher talking more. Home groups and smaller classes, especially in smaller churches, often have groups this size.
  • SOCIAL. You know many names and some stories. There is not time for everyone to talk. Lecture is common. Involvement demands subgrouping, which is facilitated best in open space. These are often larger classes, often in larger churches.

Make the most of your space and group size. In order to make disciples (as Jesus commanded in the Great Commission), don’t allow your room size (space) to dictate your methods. Personal and social size groups can change up teaching-learning dynamics simply by breaking the group into subgroups for part of group time. Spend time with individuals away from group time. Your investment in these ways can change you, them, and the group.

Also, expect your group to grow maturationally and numerically. But with growth comes change in group dynamics. Lead the way with care and sensitivity. Make the most of your space!

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Darryl Wilson serves as Sunday School & Discipleship Consultant for the Kentucky Baptist Convention. He served as Minister of Education in five churches in Kentucky and South Carolina and is the author of The Sunday School Revolutionary!, a blog about life-changing Sunday School and small groups.