When I was in elementary and middle school, the one thing that I cherished most was friendships. I had no idea the importance of them, but desired to have a “best friend” whatever the season. Looking back, some of those friendships are still intact, especially the ones that continued in high school and college. As a young man, I did not realize the depth of influence many of them would have on me, but have now come to see the big picture of healthy relationships.

Disciple-making is all about one thing – relationship. One cannot become what Christ intends him/her to be without others who dig deep into the heart of others. Consider the Old Testament for a moment. Adam needed Eve, Noah needed his family, Abraham needed Sarah, Moses needed Aaron, Elijah needed Elisha, David needed Jonathan, and they all needed Jehovah. John Donne, an English poet, is well known for the words, “No man is an island, entire of itself, every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.”

It is no different in the New Testament, for one cannot grow in a vacuum. Vacuum means “a state of isolation from outside influences”. Therefore, if one is interested in steady growth throughout life, they must be willing to follow the pattern of Christ — the champion of relationships. As a young man he was in perfect relationship with the Father and others, “. . . And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man.” (Luke 2:52) Though God in the flesh, Jesus learned from others in the temple in order to fully understand the purpose for his existence.
When he called the Twelve, it was an intentional call to relationship, “Follow me. So leaving everything behind, he got up and followed him.” (Luke 5:27b-28) The call was not a temporary act of selfishness, or popularity, but one of permanency. Intentional growth was not to operate in a silo; but rather, to work diligently in the field with others. In some cases, Jesus taught them intimately as with Peter, James, and John, bringing them aside for instruction (Matt. 17:1; Mark 5:37; Luke 8:51, 9:28). There is no substitute for mentoring, but mentoring requires desire, time, and commitment from both parties to eventually experience fruit.

Lastly, Jesus taught larger groups as with the Twelve (Luke 9:1), the seventy-two (Luke 10:1), and had compassion for the masses (Matt. 9:36). Jesus always kept his heart open to share what the Father would have him convey at that moment. Unfortunately, many gifted teachers/leaders have “silo” moments and long for the quiet of solitude. There are times in life for that response, but the normal posture for a teacher is relationship. Without them, one fails in their calling, denies the truth of how Jesus gifted them, and misses out on opportunities of spiritual growth both for themselves and the benefit to others.

Resist to exist in a vacuum, less you miss out on the next Disciple-making moment!